It’s hard to imagine ever feeling anything less than exciting when we start dating someone. That eagerness to see your GF or BF feels amazing. The happiness and enthusiasm of a new relationship can overpower anything. You spend a lot of time together, build something special, and your life starts revolving around that person. Though, nothing stays forever. And in one instant, everything changes. Things starts getting change as couple get to know each other better. Some couples make through everything while others drift apart. The end of the relationship is very unpleasant. But sometimes unfortunately, breaking up is simply that you must do. Because continuing the relationship that you know is not going to work out is unfair on your partner as well as on yourself.

It is a difficult and emotional process but it is also necessary. So, if you want to know how to break up with someone you love, we have prepared a step by step process only for you.

Before Breakup

1. Give your relationship another chance to fix things- Breaking up is not something that should come out of the blue. Before ending your relationship, it is important to share your concerns & dissatisfactions with your partner to fix things again if possible for the sake of your love. The decision to quit the relationship may not be mutual but your partner should know how you’re feeling. It’s your job to communicate with them and try to fix things if possible for one last time.

2. Pick a Location- Once you are certain about your decision. You just need to do it in a sensitive place. If you feel safe with your partner, it’s better that you break up in some private place where you can talk through it and can answer their questions. If you don’t live together, do it in their place so you can leave once you’ve told them everything. However, consider doing it in public place or even on the phone, depending on your specific situation if your partner is physically abusive with you.

3. Split things up fairly- Most of the times, the couples co-habitate and share finances. If you used to live together, plan out in advance for your stay, whether it’s temporarily at a friend or family’s place. Make your plans regarding how you’d like to divide your belongings equally before taking the final step of breakup.

4. Ready for feelings on both sides- Be prepared in advance that your partner may get hurt or shocked in processing the news of breakup. You can also get emotional as you were emotionally connected with them and they are someone you have shared the best moments with. But if you are certain for your decision of ending things, don’t doubt it just because you will miss them later or they might get hurt. Brace yourself for all the emotions that will flow.

5. Let your close friends know in advance- Your common friends must know in advance about the whole break up thing so that they can be there to support you in your time of need. Share this with close friends whom advise you value. It is important because at some point of time when you will feel lonely and lost, it would be them as your support system who will give you love and belonging to cope with the situation.

Once you have decided to call off the relationship, then whatever your reason be, whether it’s due to betrayal, undeniable erosion of love, etc,  figuring on how to breakup with someone you love will be very hard. To make the process a bit easier, I have shared the ways to breakup in the easy ways possible.

How to Breakup with someone you love

6. Be Clear- Breakups occur only when you feel that your partner is no longer a match to your values, outlook, needs, passions or desires. So before breaking up, it would be nice if you make a list of what exactly are those things which you no longer want to feel or experience in your relationship. It is important to be clear when you are going for break up. Tell your partner about the issues and get on moving in life without making it hard to live in a relationship which has no future.

7. Fall out of the Love- It will be very hard for you to break up if you keep focusing on the memories that made you happy. If you have collected the strength to break up with your partner, you need to banish the love thought out of your mind and heart. Focus more on top 10 negative moments of your relationship. Remember how you were feeling during the time and tell the same to your partner.

8. Be Kind yet Strict- Breaking up is awful and extremely painful, not only for the person being left behind but also for the one doing the leaving. Therefore be respectful and kind when you begin to distance yourself from your partner, however, you need to be strict with your boundaries as well because if you will not be clear, your partner may get the mixed signals and ends up staying with you longer than usual.

9. Say the words clearly, “I want to break up”- Sometimes while breaking up, people think of telling something that will seem nicer. However, in reality, it would only just lead to confusion and uncertainty to the other person listening to it. Hence, during breakup it is utmost important that you are clear enough with the other person to make them understand that the relationship is ending. This doesn’t mean you need to be cruel, instead you can directly state that you wanna breakup, that will be sufficient enough.

10. Use “I”- Using the statements such as “You make” or “You cause” will look more like you are being defensive or blaming your partner which is generally not good. During the breakup, try to start your sentence with “I” as it specifically highlights your personal experience and not seems like you are blaming the other person for the breakup circumstance.

11. Avoid Blame- Phrase your sentence in such a way that does not sound blaming. Do not directly blame the other person for the situation of break up. In most of the cases, breakups are not necessarily someone’s fault, it’s just that two of you were not compatible for each other. End the relationship on a positive closure.

12. Explain yourself- You should certainly explain your thinking to your partner during the break-up. You get serious for breakup probably after having some serious thoughts. Share some of those thoughts with the other person to make them understand why breaking up is the best thing for both of you. Explaining your thinking to your partner will help to avoid the questionings later.

13. Give Enough Space for Emotions- Breakup will be emotional for both the partners. Therefore, giving the other person some space would be a good thing to do. They may cry or say a lot of things to you. Simply walking away after break up will be harsh as you have invested your time in that relationship. So, give them some support to console them and make sure they connect with the support.

14. Stick to your decision- Once you have initiated the action on the breakup, it is important that you stick up on your decision. Going back to that place again will lead to more confusion. Do not give mix signals. It will be nicer to plan out when, whether and how you will communicate again. And talking too much after your breakup can lead them to think that you want to get back together.

After Breakup

After all the breakup process, dealings and conversations, it would be time for you to do things to take care of yourself and your emotional reactions.

15. Tell your friends and family- It is highly recommendable to share the news quickly with your friends and family. With breakup comes the feeling of loneliness and isolation, so spending quality time with your friends and family will help you feel connected and get over the breakup soon.

16. Look after your Health- After breakup, don’t indulge yourself with drug, alcohol, smoking, rebound sex, stalking your ex on social media, or contacting them on frequent basis. Instead take proper sleep, diet, exercise, and spend quality time with friends. You may take some time to cry it out but do not hang in there for too long.

17. Give yourself time to know for sure when you are having second thoughts- Regretting breakup is different than missing your ex. It is normal to miss them after breaking up as they were at one point, a huge part of your life. But if you really regret the decision then talking with your ex would be nice, but wait at least past 3 months to make sure of your feelings.

18. Move On- Once the breakup is done, start on to the process of moving on. Remember you broke up for a reason and now is the time to focus on your life and make it different than it used to be. If you think you need some sorting of assistance to get through this process of breakup, you can seek the help of a counselor. He can help or assist you in passing through the difficult part of your relationship and you can move on in life positively.

Conclusion

Whether relationship lasts for a long or short time, it will always have certain special meaning and value. Each relationship is a new experience, it teaches about ourselves, another person and what we exactly need in a future partner. It is a chance and an opportunity to learn. Ending a relationship looks as hard as possible but sometimes it is the best thing you can do to a person that you hold close to your heart.

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