We hope that these quotes put a little color to your relationship by giving a whole new meaning to your bond.

Funny Love Quotes For Him

1. “I promise to always be by your side. Or under you. Or on top.”

2. “Love is sharing your popcorn.” – Charles Schultz

3. “You remind me of a library book because I always want to check you out.”

4. “I always wake up smiling… I think it’s your fault.”

5. “You want to know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again.”

6. “I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin me.”

7. “I may look like a potato now, but one day I’ll turn into fries and you’ll want me then.”

8. “Do you know why a previous relationship is called Ex? It’s not the term for past. Ex is short for Expired.”

9. “Mornings were made for sleeping, wild sex, and bacon.”

10. “Let’s cuddle so I can steal your body heat.”

11. “We go together like copy and paste.”

12. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Especially when I am all alone with you!”

13. “I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.”

14. “When a boy gets jealous it’s kinda cute. But when a girl gets jealous, World War 3 is about to start.”

15. “I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”

16. “It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and then the next day you wonder how you lived without them.”

17. “I love you even when I’m really, really hungry.”

18. “I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.”

19. “Together with you is my favorite place to be.”

20. “If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I’d walk through an endless garden of roses.”

21. “I vow to love all of you. Snoring included.”

22. “I love you in a way that’s nauseating to others.”

23. “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.” – Charlie Sheen

24. “I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.”

25. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!”

26. “I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?”

27. “Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.”

28. “We’ve been friends for so long. I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.”

29. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz

30. “Even if I spend the whole day with you, I miss you the second you leave.”

31. “Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you!”

32. “You’re the cheese to my macaroni.”

33. “All the voices in my head are replaced with your voice, the faces in every billboard yours and the songs on the radio all about you.”

34. “You are a beautiful cupcake in a world full of muffins.”

35. “Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday, yesterday you were pretty annoying.”

36. “I love you. Even though you’re a [jerk] sometimes.”

37. “I am known to follow my head wherever I go, but up until now it has lead me nowhere. Should I risk following my heart and brace myself for disaster?”

38. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”

39. “Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.”

40. “You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.”

41. “I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night and your most painful goodbye.”

42. “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”

43. “You’re basically the cutest thing I have ever loved, after my kitten.”

44. “I wish there’s a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go and slow down when I took this road of falling in love.”

45. “You’re the obi wan for me.”

46. “I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole.”

47. “I promise to always cop a feel when you’re trying to get ready in the morning.”

48. “Once in a while something amazing comes long… and here I am.”

49. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

50. “I vow to never wear a flannel night gown if you vow to never do a comb over.”

51. “I like you because you join in on my weirdness.”

52. “My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day…until I met you.”

53. “If love is a blunder, then it means that the biggest fault in my life is loving you.”

54. “You’re the cheese on top of my spaghetti, the cream on top of my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake.”

55. “You are the pain in my butt, the dent in my wallet and the scratches in my brand new car that I don’t mind.”

56. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

57. “Screw flirting. I’ll win you over with my awkwardness.”

58. “You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make everything better.”

59. “Love makes people do silly things. Like, it made me send you this message!”

60. “You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!”

61. “You will always be my 11:11 and the name I write in my naughty list.”

62. “According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets.”

63. “Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.”

64. “I promise to love you, respect you, support you, and above all else, make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry.”

65. “You call it madness, but I call it love.” – Don Byas

66. “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

67. “Grow old with me. Let’s count each other’s wrinkles as the years pass by. Let’s see who losses all of the teeth and who will need the help of the walking stick first.”

68. “Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” – Jack Benny

69. “You must be made of Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium because I Lv U!”

70. “I love you like how potbellied policemen are obsessed with donuts and how chubby kids love ice cream.”

71. “I could lay next to you forever. Or until we decide to go eat.”

72. “I love you more than coffee. But please don’t make me prove it.”

73. “I don’t care how many people are in this world, I want you! End of story.”

74. “I love you from my head tomatoes.”

75. “Is it possible to calculate how fast you are falling? Apparently, by the time you’ve tried calculating, you’ve already fallen miserably on the bottom of an endless pit. And still, there will be no answer, my friend.”

76. “Who wears the pants in our relationship?’ We prefer it when neither of us are wearing pants.”

77. “Life is like flying an airplane. You’ll be pushed around, have your ups, downs and even upside downs, but try hard enough and you’ll land where your heart desires.”

78. “I hope to arrive to my death, late, in love, and a little drunk.” – Atticus

79. “Keep your text messages short and sweet because I don’t want to read an entire essay on my phone.”

80. “I know they say there’s a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re my Nemo.”

81. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh I put up with you. So we’re even.”

82. “Kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute. Wanna work out?”

83. “A sprinkle of jealousy is healthy. It’s good to know that someone is scared of losing you.”

84. “As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.” – Ralphie May

85. “Marry someone of your own age. So when your beauty fades, so does his eyesight.”

86. “Love is like jumping out of an airplane knowing that someone else has packed your chute. You pull the cord hoping that a canopy opens up, but it could very well be packed full of dirty laundry and a half eaten cheese sandwich.” – Jared Turner

87. “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” – Tim Allen

88. “You know that you’ve been in a relationship long enough when it takes only 15 minutes for you to get ready and when you consider pizza and beer as your Saturday Date Night.”

89. “Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.”

90. “I can prove the existence of phantoms after I met you. I see you among the crowd, I see you in my dreams and I even see you in every photographs and posters that I pass by. Is this the madness you call love?”

91. “Look, I scratched my knees when I feel for you. The least you can do is to give it a kiss, please?”

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